An American solution to "Vor dem Gesetz,” or a cheap pastiche

Having finished his education, a recent graduate approaches the academy seeking entry so that he too may speak the law, but a fierce looking guard stands at the door to the academy and blocks the way inside.  The applicant explains nicely that he has completed the requirements and now will speak the law.  The guard answers, you cannot speak the law until you have entered and I cannot let you pass.   Polite entries, learned dispositions, repeated appeals bring nothing, the guard is unmoved and will not allow the applicant entry.  “But I have trained all my life to speak the law. All this effort cannot have been for naught.  I have a right to speak the law.”  These appeals to the guard bring no satisfaction.  The applicant is not allowed into the academy and so does not speak the law.  Driven mad with frustration, the applicant finds a new solution: to speak his own law. He assumes the mantel of the law even as he stands outside the first door. A new law he asserts by attacking the excessive privilege of the guard.  He has a rich life, has nothing else to fill his day other than stand before the door.  All his needs are fulfilled, his worries are reduced to the simple task of guarding the door.  This must end, not only must guards surrender their easy life, they must allow supplicants the privilege to become guards.  Why has he been appointed to stand before the door? Why have I been forced to appeal for entry? The new law shall be to replace the guard.  From now on, I shall stand before the door to judge the guard.  This shall be my door.  But even at this ruse, the guard answers, “Just because someone stands at the door, that does not make them the law.”